


Riverno.

by FeliciaAmelloides



Series: A Oneshot a Day... [225]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anti-Riverdale, Cliche, Crack, Destiel for absolutely no reason, Drabble, F/F, F/M, Reversed Roles?, Weeaboo, trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-27 03:26:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15677076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeliciaAmelloides/pseuds/FeliciaAmelloides
Summary: A weird AU where red hair is common and other hair colours are rare.And... this is a Riverdale crackfic? For some reason?





	Riverno.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sorry, this makes no sense.
> 
> I don’t like Riverdale, so this pokes fun at it a lot. Please don’t read if you’re a die-hard Riverdale fan and/or that’s going to offend you.
> 
> It’s 1am, I’m sick and I have writers’ block. Again, I’m really sorry about this...

“Hey bitches, I’m Cheryl Blossom and I’m totally special because my family is rich and we’re all ginger. And _yes_ , it is natural. On Wednesdays, we wear red. Except I wear red most days anyway because it makes me stand out as a unique, threatening, kind of seductive character. Red’s a very provocative colour if you know what I mean. I mean, of course you do, considering all of you want to have sex with _Archie_. Why is that anyway? Because he’s ginger? I’m ginger and no one wants to have sex with me! You know he’s screwing his music teacher? And he’s kind of insane? I’m kind of insane! Do I have to bang a teacher for girls and/or guys to notice me?” 

“Cheryl?” Veronica cleared her throat. Cheryl twirled around from the mirror in the locker room with a melodramatic gasp.

“What the hell are you doing here, Ronnie?” She snapped irritably.

“You know... Ginger isn’t exactly _special_ , right? Nearly everyone’s ginger. Literally only Betty and I aren’t. So, like, back the hell off bitch. I know you’re trying to steal my man.” Veronica sassed, because she’s rebellious and doesn’t listen to anyone. Because she’s rich. And spoiled. Oh, sorry, did I say _spoiled_? I meant _sassy_. 

“ _Man_? Um, _excuse me_? Archie whatever-his-surname-is is barely out of diapers. You know who _is_ a man? Dean “Fucking ~~Castiel~~ ” Winchester.” 

“D-Damn... You’re not wrong. But maybe I was. About you, I mean.” Veronica blushed both from embarrassment and from the thought of De ~~stiel~~ an. 

“R-really?” Cheryl doki-dokied.

“C-Cheryl-kun...” Ronnie-chan stepped towards her. Sakura petals fluttered down around them like pink snow.

“R-Ronnie-chan...” Cheryl-kun whispered as they shared a passionate kiss.

Endo~

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve only seen the majority of Season 1 of SPN (Castiel debuts in season 4), so I probably shouldn’t ship Destiel so hard just yet. Oh well!
> 
> ((It’s hard to access episodes here in the UK... Although we do have Rick and Morty, we don’t have Supernatural)).
> 
> As for Riverdale, I gave up halfway through season 2. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see the episode where Cheryl and that girl from the Southside I ship her with get together, but I would have liked to.
> 
> Can anyone who actually cares about Riverdale please explain why Jughead is constantly bursting into the other people’s school (and vice versa) when he surely has his own classes to attend to? Why is no one ever in school, and why do they never get punished for this?
> 
> Prompt- Red hair is really common and blonde and brown hair are really rare.
> 
> Original Number- 194.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> ~~actually, I thought Season 1 Sam was kind of hot before his hair pulled a Zuko in the later seasons~~


End file.
